Manny the Manny

Today I’m going to flip the script on you. Instead of “Ask Manny,” today I’m going to ask my readers a question that I need advice on and we’ll see if we can crowd source our way to solution. First, a little back story.

Two days ago, I arrived at Yoshi’s summer camp at a local elementary school to pick him up for the day. He had to leave early, so all his peers were still in a story circle, and they saluted him with a group “Goodbye!” as he left.

On his way out the door, Yoshi turned to respond. He singled out on child in the group by pointing and said, “I’m not gonna say goodbye to you!” Then he waved to the whole class, and out we went.

Now, as regular readers will know, I’ve been working with Yoshi on his departure skills, so there was no way I was gonna let that slight go by unchecked. Once we got into the hallway, I got into what I call my “teaching crouch” — hunkered down so I’m at eye level with Yoshi, just inches away from him.

“What was that about?” I asked.

As Yoshi started to respond, one of the kids I recognized from the classroom appeared and started taunting Yoshi.

“Bye Yoshi! Bye Yoshi! Bye Yoshi! Bye Yoshi! Bye Yoshi! Bye Yoshi! Bye Yoshi!”

Clearly this wasn’t going to be an effective place to have a conversation with Yoshi, so instead we started collecting his things from his various cubbies. The other child continued:

“Bye Yoshi! Bye Yoshi! Bye Yoshi! Bye Yoshi! Bye Yoshi! Bye Yoshi! BYE YOSHI!”

Apparently I wasn’t going to get out of this one so easily. So I turned my attention to the child — whose name, I learned, was Colin — and said, “Hey, thanks for making sure to say goodbye. He heard you, so you can probably stop now.”

A moment of hesitation, then he continued:

“BYE YOSHI! BYE YOSHI! BYE YOSHI! BYE YOSHI! BYE YOSHI! BYE YOSHI!”

Yoshi, for his part, was handling the whole thing exceedingly well. He stayed focused on getting his things together and didn’t give Colin any notice at all. I, on the other hand, was about to lose my damn mind. I don’t know if you readers have picked up on this from my writing, but I don’t take kindly to being shown up, especially by a 5-year-old whom I have never met before. This is my turf, kid. Best take a step back.

I addressed him again, this time a bit more sternly. “I think it’s time you went back to class and left Yoshi alone.”

Colin glared at me. On everything I hold holy, I swear to you: this kindergartner glared at me. I realized then that his dad was just inside the doorway of the classroom, signing him out for the day. That explained why he wasn’t in class, and why he felt so assured in not having to go back.

It didn’t explain why his dad was paying attention to how antagonizing he was being, but hey, sometimes you don’t get all the answers. Colin continued:

“Bye Yoshi! Bye Yoshi! Bye Yoshi! Bye Yoshi! Bye Yoshi! Bye Yoshi! Bye Yoshi!”

Capitulating, we left. Down the stairs and out the door. Just get me away from this kid before I snap.

As I was unlocking the car, Colin and his dad exited the front door of the school. Dad turned to head down the street, Colin made a bee line for Yoshi. From just beyond our car, he continued his incessant farewells as I buckled Yoshi into the car seat. I felt like I was Lindsay Lohan’s publicist, trying to shield her from the paparazzi.

Finally, Colin’s dad woke up and called him away from the scene, leaving Yoshi and me in peace.

Yoshi kept his cool the whole time, though he was clearly annoyed. I praised him thoroughly for his ability to ignore Colin, reassuring him that sometimes the best thing you can do when people try to get a rise out of you is nothing at all.

But what about me? Could I have done anything differently? How should I have handled Colin? 

I have no trouble addressing other people’s children’s behaviors, but usually that type of situation comes up at a play date or sleepover, where there is some degree of familiarity and some expectation of authority. Here, I had none of those things on my side, and while I tried to stop the behavior, I was ineffective both times…which is not something I’m used to.

What would you have done?

(Image credit: Jonf728’s flickr. Used under Creative Commons license.)